When Mommy Boileth Over

I never imagined I would be having a fight on a playground with another mom.  I am not ignorant that kids are going to beat up on each other and I even know that Joelle could at some time be "the bully". 

But I am still sitting in shock, feeling angry, hurt and flabbergasted at what happened at the indoor playground today.

A four year old was tearing around the whole playground while his mom played cards and squawked to her friends like a gossiping chicken.  A lot of his bumping into other kids was just because he was plain out of control.   But when the swings and slides and ball-pit became old news, he turned to throwing things at the others and was quick to shove others out of the way to get by.  He started jumping into the ball pit, intentionally landing on other kids. Thankfully, Joelle had been playing in another section the whole time~ but I was watching other mother's faces carefully and it was clear that they were unhappy with this little tornado from Hell.

Joelle was climbing up the stairs and the boy and another older girl were close behind her... at first they played SO CUTE, the 'big brother and sister' tried to carry her up the stairs until they realized she could climb them herself.  But Joelle tumbled on the last step and landed on her back and I watched in great curiosity as the boy proceeded to raise his foot and try to stomp on her.

What is wrong with this kid.

A grandpa looking on scolded him before I could get there, so thankfully the said stomp never happened.  So the three started to climb into the tunnel and the boy shoved Joelle from the back and then climbed over her.  I jumped up and yelled "Little sister is smaller than you, don't PUSH HER!"  (keep in mind: other moms saw this, too)  I decided to stay right beside them- just in case.

I know every little bump or run-in doesn't warrant me jumping to her defense.  I don't want Joelle finding every little encounter to be offensive.  But what happened next made me want to slap the brat out of this kid.  Inside the tunnel again, I saw him shove her shoulders and she fell down, hitting her head on the hard plastic.  He climbed on top of her and SAT ON HER with his knees on her chest and grabbed her cheeks and dug in his fingernails, pushing her head down.  I was up in that playground a nano second later and threw him off of her... but I didn't let him go.

I know I have a temper.  But I never thought I could get so angry at a child.  Looking back I'm a little frightened to think of what I might have done had I not had a merciful dose of self-control from the Holy Spirit at that moment.

I pinched his cheek (not nearly as hard as he had done to Joelle) and said, "See how much this hurts? She's just a baby!  Do you want your friends to hurt your face like this?"   And of course he screamed BLOODY MURDER.  I took him by the arm and brought him down the stairs and his mom, who finally stopped squawking long enough to hear her child screaming, and (not letting go yet) told him "Tell your mom what you just did!" 

The mom was bewildered, of course, because she didn't have a clue what a nasty little boy he is.  I told her what happened and of course..
she got mad.  at ME.

She started her chicken-squawking at me about not "hitting kids" because I reached up and pinched his cheek again to demonstrate what he had done.  And I scolded her "Why are you mad at me? You should be mad that your 4 year old is hurting a 2 year old!  If you don't punish him, I will.  You need to do something with him because he has been hurting kids this whole time, he plays too rough but you don't know that because you don't watch him!  Why are you mad at me?"  And I showed her the claw marks on Joelle's face.  I continued "I will not allow him to hurt my child!" 

Perhaps what made me most sad about this whole thing was how the onlookers reacted.  There were at LEAST five other moms who saw this kid abuse my (and their) children.  NONE of them came to my defense and helped this mom see that she needs to correct her son.  ALL of them came and tried to "calm us down", and although we were not screaming or getting physical, they pushed us away from each other and said "forget it, forget it."

oh so many cuss words come to mind at this point.

I sat down with a screaming Joelle beside the mom who I'd been hanging out with the whole time  and she came to coo at Joelle.  People quieted down and I tried to coax Joelle to go play again.  She was not having it.  She kept saying "Ge ge (brother) hurt!"  I vented to my new friend and was pleased to look up and see that the crowd of onlookers had gathered to hear me explain what happened and how we SHOULD raise our children. 

  After I was able to gather myself (took about 20 minutes) I put Joelle's shoes on and got ready to go.  On a whim and another merciful dose of common sense from the Holy Spirit, I went over to the other mom and tapped on her shoulder and asked her to talk in private with me.  I apologized for raising my voice and making a scene (at this point she wanted to start her squawking again) but I stopped her and told her that I worry about kids treating each other well.  I said "I didn't squeeze his cheek to hurt him, I did it to teach him.(ok, maybe I wanted to hurt him)  But next time if there is a problem, I will just come get you, and I won't let them play together."

She looked at me sternly for a moment before turning on the charm, "Oh, he was just touching her face because her skin is so white and it's so beautiful!"

 I corrected her. No- he was trying to hurt her. But we had drawn another nosey crowd so she said to Joelle "Come say goodbye to Ge ge and you will play together next time much better!" So Joelle (bless her heart) said goodbye and even threw him a kiss.

I know, I know, my child is an angel.  haha

So, I know what I did wrong.  I shouldn't punish another child (no matter how good it feels to avenge my child), it would have been better to remove Joelle and comfort her and then let the mother 'handle' it.  I know I can't change people.  But I really hope there will never be a next time.  I feel baffled by this mom's behavior and betrayed by the other mom's silence. 

SIGH.  Advice?