Adoption Update

During our adoption home study we learned that our Bulgarian adoption will take much longer than we anticipated.  The referral process will take 2 or 3 years, and after that we have to make two trips; one to meet them and the second to bring them home. Meaning that we're looking at a 3 to 4 year long process until our Bulgarian babies are sleeping under our roof.

Our social worker mentioned that we could pursue two programs at once, so we immediately started exploring our options.

One country stood out and came back to us over and over: Ethiopia.

When we realized what a perfect "fit" it was for us, we couldn't ignore it anymore.  We had first completely rejected the idea of trans-racial adoption because of the cultural obstacles... and we felt like we weren't ready for such a task.  But when we found out that 15% of Ethiopian children are orphans PLUS the whole process takes 12-18 months, we decided to GET READY.

Incidentally, one of the first books we read on adoption was "There is No Me Without You"

which was about a grassroots orphanage started in Africa when the AIDS crisis first started claiming the lives of mothers and fathers.  At the time, I was only reading this because it was part of our "adoption homework", but soon I couldn't put it down.  Melissa Fay Greene has a way of writing this orphanage director's story that made me laugh one moment and cry the next.  Even if you never adopt, you should read this book and be educated on what is happening.

Now I'm enjoying the whimsical yet educational book "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla".  It is a no-nonsense documentation of what children know about race and how we come to have certain idea's about the worth of skin color.

 I laughed out LOUD reading a story about two four-year olds who had just discovered that their hands were different colors... and then they decided to check and see if all their other body parts were also different colors.  You see where that is heading....

We are still keeping our Bulgarian adoption in play, knowing in three years we'll probably be ready for more kiddos!

But for now, we're focusing on the little ones who are waiting for us in Ethiopia.  I can't help but wonder Have they been born yet? and for the first time, I'm wondering about the agonizing way those children have come to be orphans.  Usually I think of children being dropped off at an orphanage without a backwards glance and we, the saviors, swooping in to save the day.

But when I picture Ethiopia, I see a mom or dad, sick- with no money to buy the expensive drugs, wondering if their children will remember their face, wondering if someone will come and give them a home.  For the first time thinking about adoption, I wish I wasn't needed.

But the truth is, we are needed.  And the bigger truth is, I think I need them more than they need me.