A healthy way to grieve?

Losing Rocky has really made me ponder the grieving process. We really enjoyed having Rocky because he was a relief from the stress of being far away from home and makes waiting for a baby much easier. When he became so sick, I begin feeling terribly angry at God and my prayers were basically "We're so far from home, we're not pregnant yet-- THROW ME A BONE!"

After Rocky died I surprised myself with how angry I was, and having my morning meeting with Him became a session full of accusations. It's funny how you begin to think that you're the only one in the world who is in pain- I quickly realized my selfishness and God brought to my mind the trials of people in the Bible and my anger began to wane.

I journal to make my thoughts concrete. (Thanks Jonathan and Christine for the journal, by the way:-) and here is what I hashed out that day.

"Is there a right or wrong way to grieve? Is it OK to be this angry? I'm so angry at God; trying to be honest with my feelings and glorify God at the same time feels ridiculous.
But when I think of God showing himself to Job (ch. 28), and how Jesus healed the blind man, I'm reminded of something I learned a long time ago from A.W. Tozer: "God's being is unitary; it is not composed of a number of parts working harmoniously, but simply one. There is nothing in His justice which forbids the exercise of His mercy. God is never at cross-purposes with Himself. No attribute of God is in conflict with another."

God's compassion was not absent when he allowed Rocky to get sick.

This more than anything has helped me grieve in a healthy way. I hope it has set a precedent for the future- heaven knows there will be more and worse heart breaks than this. I also hope it has given other people a perceptive on grieving-- there is nothing as sad as feeling like God doesn't know your pain or care... but in fact He not only knows and cares, but has complete sovereignty in your life. He is gracious even when He disciplines, and merciful even when He shows justice.