Crazy Excited

I've been having lots of braxton hicks contractions that are now accompanied with cramps. It's nothing too severe--it's actually very tolerable, but it makes me wonder what my body is doing and how it's gearing up for the big day. ("Am I dialating? Is my water about to break!!?")

Dr. Poonsak said to be on the look out for labor at any time because the baby is engaged and fully mature- so every little twinge or odd sensation causes me to grin a little and I feel my heart skip a beat and I think "is this it? is this how it starts?"

But on the other hand, my mind is constantly swarming with all the "what if's" and I am constantly finding something new to worry about. The only thing I can think to label this odd cycle is "crazy excited".

Today I just marveled at Scott. There are times when I start feeling overwhelmed, tired of waiting or just WORRIED that something is wrong. We sat at Starbucks for a while- he was reading Baby Wise and I was finishing up some thank-you cards... but I was left alone with my thoughts too much and became irritable and anxious. I HAD to get out of there and stop thinking so much.

We got home and I started the craziness out-loud: "Why is there no washing machine in this complex? WHY haven't we bought wipes yet?" "UGH! Scott, stop eating tuna it stinks!" and on and on.

I retreat to go glare out the window and he comes to check on me a few minutes later... of course his patience and gentleness just melted me and I cried it all out while he held me. And hey- what do you know? Everything is all better, and none of those things worrying me earlier seems quite so bad.

Does this baby girl inside me have any idea how lucky she is to have such a gentle and patient father?