We have been waiting to adopt from Ethiopia and Bulgaria for almost a year now and we were recently told that all adoptions for Ethiopia will be suspended while the Ethiopian government reviews the program.
We've started the process to also adopt from Madagascar, should the Ethiopian program fall through. My secret hope is that Ethiopia gets up and running again and we get referrals from all three countries.
We've had IUI and IVF fail multiple times but hope to try again if and when we have more money and vacation days. Waiting on adoptions, waiting on pregnancy. Waiting for our quiver full.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I'm tired of waiting. I dream of tomorrow.
But I've noticed that while I'm waiting, I'm also not living. I wanted to wait to home school Joelle until her brothers came- because a full classroom is giggly goodness. I wait to get going with home organization projects, wait on scrapbooks and quilts.
Sometimes I fear that I'm not giving my beloved and much-prayed-for daughter the full attention she needs because I keep thinking "she would be having so much fun if her brothers and sisters were here!"
But God has proven again and again that His timing is not mine. His timing is perfect. His timing is for my good. His timing is a father's loving discipline for his child. We are waiting because there is something else I should be doing with my time now. NOW is the time to learn trust and patience.
I can't help but wonder... is there something I'm supposed to be doing now that I'm missing? I hope I can enjoy the present for what it is in such a way that I'm not always wishing that the future would hurry up and get here already!
Here is to enjoying today and letting go of the future.