Melting Pot

While we've been in Thailand we've met people from over 16 different countries! Talk about a melting pot! Scott and I wanted to see how many countries we could 'rack up' in two weeks, so we've tried to strike up conversation with people to see where they are from.... here's the list so far:
Norway, Holland, Sweden, Denmark, Lebanon, Egypt, Dubai, London, Japan, Australia, America, India, Malaysia, Pakistan, Kuwait, China, Wales,

So it's because of this 'where are you from' game that we had a verrrry strange interaction. Scott and I got on the elevator with a group and we were all exchanging 'Good morning" and "how are you?" and we asked a smiling couple where they were from. The man had a funny look on his face and he said, "I'm from Pakistan. I know you don't like Pakistan." And then the elevator arrived on his floor and he stepped out and all I could think to say was, "Actually, I've never been to Pakistan" as he walked out. (good save, Christine)

I was so shocked that he made that comment, and Scott and I could only give each other the "what just happened here" look. After a few minutes I found my voice and asked repeatedly, "why did he say that?!" Of course, I know that our governments don't exactly get together for play dates. And he automatically lumped me in with thousands of racist Americans... and it made me question if I've been looking at other people like they are terrorists.

For example, I don't want to be lumped in with Americans who are rich, greedy, ignorant, with loose morals who abort their unwanted children. And as one of my black friends taught me in college, not all black people like fried chicken and walk outside in their house slippers. So we can naturally assume that not every man from Pakistan wants to be labeled as a member of the Taliban or as a car bomber.

Ever since that encounter in the elevator I've gotten the feeling that when I'm talking to people from the Middle East that we are both thinking, "do they hate me because of where I'm from?"
And also after that conversation, I found myself gun-shy to talk to others for fear of insulting them or saying something ignorant. But one day when Scott and I were in the hospital in the MRI waiting room I saw a woman, who I assumed was middle eastern, kissing her son on the forehead who was sedated and about to have an MRI. The husband went into the room with the son and she turned to wait in a private room. When she turned I noticed tears streaming down her face. I sat and talked with Scott about something we could do just to reach out, but I was so afraid that she wouldn't want a sympathetic touch from an American.
But I decided to test the waters anyway, and I brought some water to the room. When I came in she accepted the water with a pitiful smile and said thank you. I said to her, "I noticed you were crying. Is your son ok?" and she told me about her son's condition that was baffling the doctors. I asked if she wanted me to sit with her for a while and she nodded and pointed to a seat across from her. We talked about her son for a few moments, and then I decided to give her some privacy. I wasn't sure if I had provided for any comfort, but I was glad I tried.
Its amazing how the cultural barriers melt away in a place like a hospital, and how much easier it is to return a smile from someone who is in the same boat as you.

Anyway, I guess this soap box is about the assumptions we so easily make about others- like that man made about us, and how wrong he was to assume our likes and dislikes. So now when I'm in a cross-cultural situation I'm more careful to not make assumptions (like all Chinese people are good at ping-pong) and try to avoid being a typical American (throwing a fit when the waiter gets our order wrong). Especially living in a different country we are under scrutiny all the time, and the less abrasive we are, the more they want to hear our Story... and that is our main goal!