Expect the Expected

A few days ago Scott and I were in the train station. This is not a new experience for us- in fact, I can't even count the number of times we've ridden a train. So of course, being a seasoned train-monger, I'm not phased by the things going on around me: children peeing right on the floor, cigarette smoke swirling around my head, people unashamedly gawking at us and yelling "HEY FOREIGNERS! LOOK AT THE FOREIGNERS!"

And of course when we line up, I'm perfectly prepared for the pushing and shoving and overall chaos of being herded through the gate.

You'd think. But no- the pushing and shoving is the last straw and I absolutely lose it. This last time we were in the train station Scott gently said to me, "How can you still be surprised at all this? How can it possibly make you this angry every time?"

I don't know if it was his calm, mature demeanor when he said it or the sheer obviousness of his statement.... but it stopped me dead in my tracks. How in the world, after living here for TWO YEARS do these things still bother me? I know that if I dare wear my crocs to the open-air market, I'm going to get chicken blood and mud splashed on my feet. I know that when we go out to eat I'm going to come home smelling like a big fat cigarette. I know that people are going to poke my baby bump and tell me to eat more bone marrow.

The reality hit me hard that one of the reasons I am surviving and not thriving is because I haven't made an effort to embrace the cultural differences; I simply ignore them until I burst.

So when we finally got on the train and into our sleeper-compartment, Scott wondered out-loud "I wonder if we're even fit for this life-style". I was so shocked- I said, "Of course we are!" But Scott in a very earnest and not-at-all smug way said "But you complain so much, I sometimes wonder if you're even happy."

Now it's sinking in deeper and deeper what a hole I've dug for myself. In my defense, it IS a hard adjustment moving to such a different place... but Scott was right: I should at least have my heart prepared for these every day things.

So, now when we go out I say to myself: "Ok. Be prepared. People are going to follow me- even to the bathroom- and take my picture. Be prepared, you're not going to understand anything the cute old women are saying to you at the market." (you get the idea) I've tried this for the past two days and it sounds so stupid, but it makes all the difference.

I noticed today how things really didn't bother me because I looked forward to these things, not just hoped they wouldn't happen. So I hope maybe in a small way my atrocious blunder can be a learning experience for any others who are living in or traveling to a foreign country!